


Doubts and Insecurities

by CosmoKid



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Insecurity, M/M, Tiny Mention of Sex, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-13 09:51:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10511331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmoKid/pseuds/CosmoKid
Summary: In which Kevin can't figure out why Joaquin is with him and Veronica is no help, but Joaquin is more than willing to explain.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, I refuse to believe that Joaquin would use Kevin like the writers are suggesting so I wrote this idk

It had started out as gossip, just some catty conversation he and Veronica had when they were too tired to talk about more important stuff. With everything going on, they’d had no time to rest and Kevin’s brain was running on several cups of coffee and jumbled words.

Of course, nothing stayed innocent when Veronica was involved. Kevin knew it very well, very fucking well, but he still walked straight into her trap. 

He’d hidden his relationship pretty well with most of his friends, even Betty and Jughead had no idea. Then again, they were too busy focussed on each other and the whole Poppy thing to notice anything. He had a suspicion that Cheryl knew all about it or at least had an inkling, but he didn’t know if he could consider her a friend or if she’d be offended by him calling her a friend. Cheryl Blossom was weird, there were no other words for it.

Veronica had picked up on it about two days into the… relationship.

He didn’t know if he could call it that, he didn’t know what to call it. What he had with Joaquin was different to anything he’d ever had. He was used to secret hook-ups with closeted jocks or band geeks or whatever, but what he wasn’t used to was running around behind everyone’s backs to meet up with a guy. It wasn’t like they hooked up every time either, most times they kissed or hugged or just talked. He didn’t expect to be able to talk to him as much as he did, it wasn’t like they had much in common. Kevin was a preppy kid who spent most of his time catching up with high school and celebrity gossip as well as studying for midterms and Joaquin? Joaquin was a Southside Serpent.

Joaquin technically went to high school, he just didn’t show up too much. Kevin didn’t know much about Joaquin’s childhood, but he knew enough not to pry and knew that he owed his life to the Serpents. They’d taken him in when Joaquin was fourteen and he’d stayed with them since then. They’d been his only friends and now he had Kevin and whatever the fuck their thing was.

Whatever it was, Veronica had figured it out almost immediately. She quizzed him on it at the most unpredictable times and he’d nearly slipped up a few too many times. He knew he couldn’t tell anyone he was dating a Southside Serpent, especially him being the Sheriff’s kid and he liked the secret thing they had going on. Being Juliet (he couldn’t argue with Joaquin there, not even because he was the most feminine according to stereotypes, more because Joaquin had to come to him more because of the whole Southside Serpent thing) was fun and it was probably the safest option.

Well, the safest option was to cut it off, but that wasn’t happening anytime soon. He’d rather be in danger than to give up what he had with Joaquin. Even his friends ended up knowing about it.

“So, a Southside Serpent?” Veronica drawled, dangling her leg over the side of the couch. His mouth dropped open for a second before he promptly shut it and prepared his defense. “Don’t worry Kev, I won’t tell. I’m just curious, that’s all, I didn’t take Serpents as your type,” she added with a smirk, pushing herself up.

“Curiosity killed the cat,” he replied dryly, fidgeting anxiously in his seat. He glanced to Hermione’s liquor cabinet, knowing it would be much better to have this conversation while drunk. 

He knew he had to have that conversation, there was no getting around Veronica Lodge.

“And satisfaction brought it back.” She tutted at him, rearranging herself so she was laying on her front, facing Kevin, “Spill.”

He jumped slightly at the demand, looking plainly at her. Her face didn’t falter for a millisecond. “His name’s Joaquin,” he offered, “He’s got dark, longish hair and his eyes are a mix of blue and gray. He wears all black twenty-four seven basically,” he added after Veronica’s expectant gaze didn’t change.

“He’s got the bad-boy look then?” she asked, sounding slightly disappointed. There was something unbelievably odd about Veronica Lodge and Kevin just couldn’t put his finger on it.

“He’s a Southside Serpent Ronnie, what do you think?” he asked, raising his eyebrows at her.

“What? They don’t all conform to the stereotype,” she defended herself lightly, shifting onto her back, “Didn’t think that was your type Kev.” He had a feeling she was thinking out loud, but Veronica hardly ever had a filter anyway so she was almost always thinking out loud.

“Neither did I,” he murmured, biting his lip, “We live in a small town with negative three queers apart from me, I don’t have the luxury of having a type. Plus, he’s nice, I like him.” He shook his head as he heard his voice going lighter, he always felt spacey when he was with Joaquin, constant butterflies in his stomach, but they weren’t bad butterflies, just a little fluttery. 

He was so far gone on Joaquin, it was almost embarrassing.

“Shut up, you actually like him?” Veronica questioned, forcing herself to sit up straight, “You’re actually serious about this?”

“I guess?” he replied weakly, being too proud to drop his gaze from her eyes, “I mean it’s not like we can go around kissing in the street or even holding hands, but yeah, I like him I guess.”

Truth be told, he hadn’t really thought about how he felt towards Joaquin. He was too scared to.

“And you’re certain he’s not just using you for your connection to the sheriff department?” Veronica questioned.

“What the fuck Ronnie?” he hadn’t meant to yell, he just did. He was normally cool and composed, but he just couldn’t not be outraged by the idea of it. 

“What? Kev, look, I get it, you like the kid, but he’s a Serpent and you’re the Sheriff’s kid. It’s not ludicrous,” Veronica explained as if Kevin hadn’t understood her point already. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand her point, it was more so that her point was stupid.

But it wasn’t really stupid. It made sense, he had a connection a criminal could exploit and it wasn’t like Joaquin couldn’t find someone better. Kevin wasn’t stupid or blind, he knew who the good looking one in their relationship was and it wasn’t him. Joaquin could do at least ten times better than him. It was still ridiculous, though, the idea that Joaquin would do that for him. He couldn’t imagine that Joaquin would do that to him.

Still, he was one to know that not everything was what he imagined it would be.

“He’s not Ronnie, he’s just not. I know he’s a Serpent and it would make complete sense for him to do that, but trust me, he’s not. I’m not stupid Ronnie.” He let out a frustrated huff, sinking deeper into the couch. 

“Okay, Kev, if you’re sure,” Veronica said absent-mindedly. 

But that was the problem, he wasn’t sure.

•••

Kevin rearranged himself again, biting his lip. Normally, he’d just snuggle up in Joaquin’s arms and watch whatever movie they were watching tonight, but he just couldn’t. His mind was swimming with too many thoughts and worries for him to relax.

“Babe, you okay?” Joaquin murmured, massaging Kevin’s shoulder lightly. He had a little concern in his voice making Kevin groan quietly, he hated it when he caused relationship drama.

If he could even call it that.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked quietly, pulling away from Joaquin’s arms. It was always a little weird, him snuggling in Joaquin’s voice since he was the taller one. He was normally the taller in his relationships or conquests so if it came to cuddling, it was always him who was wrapping his arms around someone. It was nice, though, having Joaquin’s arms around him, he felt safe as odd it was given the circumstances.

“Doing what?” Joaquin questioned, turning to look up at Kevin. He had a small frown on his face and his hair was falling into his face and over his eyes. Kevin loved his eyes, sometimes he wanted to just stare into his eyes for a whole day and do nothing else.

“This, whatever this thing is, whatever this thing between us is, why?” He hit his bed softly, frustrated. He hated feeling anxious or unsure.

“Why? I’m not sure I get what you mean.” Joaquin’s eyebrows furrowed and he reached out hesitantly to hold Kevin’s hand. For a Southside Serpent, Joaquin was pretty gentle.

“Why? You’re a fucking Southside Serpent and I’m the sheriff’s kid, you can’t not see my thought process her Quin.” He bit his lip, avoiding Joaquin’s gaze. “And if not, why? You could do so much better than some preppy high school kid. You get at least six numbers anytime we go out to a club, why would you settle for me?” he added, fiddling with his blanket.

“Hey, hey,” Joaquin murmured, pressing two fingers to Kevin’s chin and gently lifting his head to meet his gaze, “You want to know why I’m doing this?” he asked quietly, only continuing after Kevin nodded hesitantly, “Because Kev, I like you, you idiot. You have the prettiest eyes Kev, they’re like broken glass in the sunlight. And I love your nose, it’s just so adorable. And have you ever seen yourself naked, Kev, it’s like a work of art. And the sounds you make, god, I could get off just listening to you.” 

Kevin felt his breath hitch as Joaquin spoke, his brain freezing. The husky tone in his voice was going straight to his dick and it felt pretty inappropriate given their current conversation.

“And you’re one of the best guys I’ve ever met, you’re sweet and kind and you always put your friends first. You’re so easy to talk to and no one gets me like you do. The Serpents are my family, but they’re not you. I could talk to you for hours on end and never get bored, I doubt I could get bored of you ever. I’m not here because I want a connection to the sheriff or whatever, I’m here because I like spending time with you and I like… I like _you_ Kev, I really do. You’re an amazing and you’re cute and I like you, okay?” 

He let out a deep breath, taking Joaquin’s hand. “Okay,” he whispered softly, leaning into Joaquin, “Just for the record, I really like you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> come scream with me on [tumblr](https://island-of-asteria.tumblr.com/)


End file.
